Beware of the Baby

 WANTED

Height: about 1ft 9in

Eyes: blue (and menacing)

Age: 1

WARNING: 

Do not approach this child. 

He will attack for no apparent reason. 

Ok, so maybe the 'Wanted' poster is a bit much. But there is no denying that I am definitely getting bullied by a 1 year-old. 

Little O may well come across all sweet and innocent, but do not judge a book by its cover; this child throws a mighty punch. So much so that I am now an injured victim of his tirade of violence (I have a minor – but no less visible – scratch to the head). 

What makes his outbursts worse is the manner in which they unfold. Usually they are proceeded by a cuddle or a very dribbly kiss – a regular occurrence that I once loved and now dread. At other times, I may be enjoying a relaxing moment on the sofa when *BANG!* I'm hit in the head with a shoe/toy car/any other weapon he can get his podgy little hands on.

I am told this is yet another 'phase'. But I think this may well be my least favourite phase yet – even worse than the screaming like a girl in public phase (when he was according to the health visitor "finding his voice") and I disliked that phase immensely.  


I've tried telling off (he smiles and hits me again). I've tried sitting him by himself and walking away from him (he couldn't care less). I've even searched on the internet for solutions and tried the suggested technique of holding his hands to his chest for 45 seconds à la Supernanny's 'time out' method. Nothing seems to be working with this menace!


Mums of the blogging world – what are your suggestions to curb my son's mummy-beating ways?!