WANTED
Height: about 1ft 9in
Eyes: blue (and menacing)
Age: 1
WARNING:
Do not approach this child.
He will attack for no apparent reason.
Ok, so maybe the 'Wanted' poster is a bit much. But there is no denying that I am definitely getting bullied by a 1 year-old.
Little O may well come across all sweet and innocent, but do not judge a book by its cover; this child throws a mighty punch. So much so that I am now an injured victim of his tirade of violence (I have a minor – but no less visible – scratch to the head).
What makes his outbursts worse is the manner in which they unfold. Usually they are proceeded by a cuddle or a very dribbly kiss – a regular occurrence that I once loved and now dread. At other times, I may be enjoying a relaxing moment on the sofa when *BANG!* I'm hit in the head with a shoe/toy car/any other weapon he can get his podgy little hands on.
What makes his outbursts worse is the manner in which they unfold. Usually they are proceeded by a cuddle or a very dribbly kiss – a regular occurrence that I once loved and now dread. At other times, I may be enjoying a relaxing moment on the sofa when *BANG!* I'm hit in the head with a shoe/toy car/any other weapon he can get his podgy little hands on.
I've tried telling off (he smiles and hits me again). I've tried sitting him by himself and walking away from him (he couldn't care less). I've even searched on the internet for solutions and tried the suggested technique of holding his hands to his chest for 45 seconds à la Supernanny's 'time out' method. Nothing seems to be working with this menace!
Mums of the blogging world – what are your suggestions to curb my son's mummy-beating ways?!
3 comments:
WANTED: 1 year old boy who is keen to learn boxing. Lucrative career if talented. Must have trained with adult by practicing his left hook ---shows courage. Will provide bespoke shorts to fit over nappie, though nappie changing is NOT part of the contract (we have found increased amounts of nappie "issues" due to nervous trainees. Literally, they sh*t theirpants from fear.) Must have a MILF to seal the deal. Call: 08457-baby boomers. Posted by: Lois "the rock a bye-bye" Babeh
I think children go on a roller coaster ride of phases, some great, some crap. And it's always mummy (or daddy) who come off worse! I guess he'll grow out of it, but you'll have to be really firm to make him realise that it's wrong, otherwise you know what will happen. And the bigger he gets, the harder it will become to avoid the bruises...!
CJ xx
Thanks for your comment CJ - I definitely hope he'll be growing out of this one soon, or at least before he manages to give me a black eye. Think I shall be progressing with the 'walking away from the scene of the crime' technique for now and hope that he gets the message that beating up mummy for fun means the end of cuddles! x
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